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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238499">the water that ripples at our feet ( and the blood that does not tie us )</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakrokyrr/pseuds/vakrokyrr'>vakrokyrr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Female Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Gen, Ishimaru Kiyotaka &amp; Pekoyama Peko Are Siblings, Ishimaru Kiyotaka-centric, M/M, also i mean ishimondo is there it's just like kinda secondary to the overall plot, bc this is a VERY belated birthday fic, but i managed to beat kodaka's birthday tweet? :pensive:, god i hope i didn't blank on anything else, honks my clown nose. fool., i think he deserves to have good family stuff. did i also put angst in here yeah but, listen he is gay and has gay thoughts about his bro sometimes what r u gonna do? :/, listen this is just self indulgent fluff as i project heavily onto kiyotaka, no one notice me change the publish date on this bc i'm a mess, on god i do not remember how to ao3 what tags do i need for this uhhhhh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:14:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakrokyrr/pseuds/vakrokyrr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Though blood may run thicker than water, it does not run deeper.</p><p>( Or: his family, in every sense of the word, might be a bit messy— it does not mean he loves them any less for it )</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hagakure Hiroko &amp; Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Hagakure Yasuhiro &amp; Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka &amp; Ishimaru Takaaki, Ishimaru Kiyotaka &amp; Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka &amp; Pekoyama Peko, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, also technically takaaki / hiroko but like. not really the focus here it's just there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the water that ripples at our feet ( and the blood that does not tie us )</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Do you ever just drop an 18k fic into the tags? No?<br/>This is my super belated Kiyotaka birthday fic!!! Because life happens. This probably isn't as neatly edited as I would like it to be ( nor is it as much character study as I originally intended it to be ), but I'm happy with where it's at.</p><p>The overarching theme of this fic deals with family ( read: me wanting to give Kiyotaka the family he deserves ), but with a secondary mention of found family ( that I couldn't fully explore because it'd probably be at least another 5k ). The different sections in order are: Takaaki &gt; Hiroko &gt; Yasuhiro ( with a Mondo cameo  ) &gt; Peko &gt; An interlude about Kiyotaka's birthday &gt; A secondary birthday ( focused on Mondo but with some other 78 cameos )</p><p>Content warnings for this fic include some mentions of bullying / self-esteem issues / anxiety in general,  something that is all but outright stated to be a panic attack in the second section ( with Taka more or less dissociating ), a tiny bit of internalized homophobia, and Taka does reference to Takaaki being a bit of a negligent parent. Smoking and drinking is brought up with reference to Hiroko ( and he references to Mondo smoking as well ). Kanon has a very brief cameo that you can probably mostly skim past if her character bothers you!<br/>Kiyotaka also, on more than one occasion, stresses over financial standings / debt and if that hits a little too close to home right now you might gotta skip this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Family has always been something Kiyotaka has struggled to grapple with. Be that for the way his family had been considered an unconventional one, or something else entirely . For the record, he had never known that which he lacked ( something his peers made sure he was aware of as a child ), and thus found his father was sufficient enough to fill both roles: if not confused as to why everyone else found this to be weird.</p><p>Or perhaps it was the heavy burden that such came with; the burden of their family name he means, of course. This is something that you had come to understand very early in your life. Of course, with the knowledge of his family's legacy, adults would never question why no other family members were there to help raise him. No one could technically say his father was a bad parent when Kiyotaka continuously stayed at the top of his class, after all. They might blame his father for his lack of social skills, but he didn't really think there was anyone to blame but himself for not being able to learn that stuff.</p><p>He’s never minded these facts of his life— if only because they are so deeply integrated he has no choice, and he has only seen them as obstacles to overcome as soon as he was really old enough to comprehend these things. Sure, at times he might have disliked the fact that this meant that Takaaki seemed to have to work twice as much compared to other people— but only because he worried that his father was not getting the proper amount of rest. If he ever felt lonely, well, it simply meant he cherished the time spent with his father twice as much.</p><p>These days— which is to say, in this past year— he has come to terms with the fact that his home has become a less lonesome place. As odd as that might be to think about. His family has never been a conventional one, and Kiyotaka would be lying if he said that was an easy thing to get used to. Not that this arrangement is really all that much more ‘conventional’ either, when he thinks about it. Or at least, what would probably be considered traditionally conventional. But he would like to consider himself an open-minded person, so he is far from particularly minding this development in their lives. Not that he would, when it meant his father was happy in a way that he couldn’t provide for him. He has never really thought of himself as selfish when it came to his father’s attention, as meager as it could feel at times.</p><p>However, it does mean that it feels particularly noticeable when the house is even slightly less empty.</p><p>They might have only been ‘home’ for a few days, but Kiyotaka feels like he already has everyone’s routines set in his mind. The fact that the house is short two people’s presence feels noticeably unusual— despite the fact that not too long ago, it would be perfectly normal for it to just be himself and his father.</p><p>This is accented by the fact that, when he comes out of his room to take a break from his studies and rehydrate, he finds his father standing at the kitchen stove instead. Not entirely abnormal, but his father did not usually like to cook on days he worked. He wonders if something important slipped his mind, by chance.</p><p>“Sorry.” His father says upon noticing him stepping into the kitchen. “Nothing too special for tonight’s dinner.”</p><p>Kiyotaka blinks before reaching for a teapot, having changed his mind from refiling his water bottle. The air conditioner is running anyways, even if he thinks it might be a little wasteful spent on two people ( but the house would be unpleasantly warm later if he were to consider shutting it off ). “That is quite fine! However, you could have called ahead if you knew! I would not have minded to start cooking for us.” For that matter, honestly— he wishes Hiroko might have mentioned something before leaving, since it seems they did not leave all that recently.</p><p>His brows must furrow in some telltale way, since Takaaki follows up with an explanation for the missing occupants in their household. “She wanted to take Yasuhiro out and celebrate his birthday, since you two weren’t here for hers. She figured I’d be too tired after work to be up to doing much, and she knows you hate having to smell the smoke from her cigarettes too heavily.”</p><p>( He disagrees with that sentiment— he dislikes smoking because of its repercussions to one's health, and in turn, those around them; and the association that such activities have with certain groups of people. On its own, it is a horrid smell, but he has found it is slightly more bearable when it is mixed in with sweat and motor oil and— )</p><p>Anyways. That explains their absence, and answers the question of if he had been forgetting about something. Well, not that he particularly minds the specifics, but it feels nice to know he had been thought about. You would be lying if you said that was a normal feeling for you. Birthdays had never been something he had cared to put much emphasis on, after all: he did not celebrate his own, nor his father’s, and it wasn’t like he had friends to celebrate theirs either. He has come to understand that it is considered fairly normal to at least acknowledge the occasion in some manner, regardless of age. “That’s fine. Is dinner almost done? I can set the table.” The elder shakes his head at him.</p><p>“Don’t bother. It’s only us eating. You could put the salad out on the table, though.”</p><p>Dinner is a fairly quiet affair; his father offers some thoughts about what his new line of work is like— and upon being asked, Kiyotaka recounts what he has been studying up on. Already outlining for the next term’s worth of material and taking note of what he might need to pay extra attention to and the next exam to be prepared for. Which subjects particular peers might need his assistance in reviewing. He is sure for some people, that kind of talk would seem boring, perhaps even a bit odd ( in some households, talking so brazenly might even be rude ). This is how they have always communicated best though, and he can read in between the lines to infer how tired work has made him.</p><p>In turn, his father does not say a thing when he does not feel rushed to return to his studies when he has finished with his meal, opting to sit there in silence and watch the news on the television. Kiyotaka makes it a mental note to wash up the dishes before he goes back to his room.</p><p>“Do you have any plans for this summer, outside of your studies?” There’s something else there, underlying the gruffness of Takaaki’s voice— what he identifies as concern. “Not that you need to tell me exactly, but I don’t think Hiroko will be happy with letting you stay in and study all summer.”</p><p>“Most parents would be thrilled.” He <em>is</em> a top honors student, and he needs to put in some baseline effort to achieve that much. Maybe less than what he does puts in, but he has never given things much less than his whole, and it’s not like he has that many things to be doing instead.</p><p>“On the contrary, I think she’d be thrilled if Yasuhiro would apply himself a little more.”</p><p>Kiyotaka considers this, hands tapping against the table while he thinks. “I do not, but…” A certain person does come to mind, of course.</p><p>Despite the fact that they will hardly be going a month without seeing each other— a month and a half, Mondo had corrected him in complete seriousness— he half expects to get a phone call announcing sudden plans at some point. Well, actually, probably not <em>that</em> sudden, since Mondo knows he prefers having plans and schedules for everything, and would thus respect that. The point he is making remains nonetheless. If he is being truthful though, Kiyotaka would just like to avoid having Mondo and Hiroko in the same space for too long: they’re too alike to not get along and he’s fairly certain that combination of people would be a true testament of his father’s patience.</p><p>( Okay, there is another factor for his unwillingness, but that is neither here nor there. He’s not going to acknowledge that elephant in the room )</p><p>There is also the fact that, as a former cop who excels in reading body language, Takaaki has always been good at reading him. The last thing he needs is his father picking up on something that Kiyotaka does not consciously mean to communicate to the world.</p><p>In the end, he settles with telling his father he’ll see about scheduling in something— but quite frankly, his break has always been about maintaining two things: his studies, and his family life. Break usually meant that he could actually see his father more than outside of his odd days off, and thus came to treasure that time. And now that he lives in the dorm, vacation time is really the only occasion he has to see his father at all. But considering their family is busy most of the time, he will occupy his time with his studies, like he has every year before.</p><p>He must not be entirely convincing, or not reassuring enough in his response, because his father frowns. “Hey...if you need to talk, you know I’m here for you, right?”</p><p>Kiyotaka hums, a noise soft and low in his throat; unable to voice any coherent words. Not without feeling as though he might make a fool of himself, at least. He knows that his dad will be there for him, but he cannot bring himself to burden him with his struggles. Also informing his father that his son might be going through a crisis on his sexuality is not a conversation that he is in any rush to have. Even if you have always felt your emotions so intensely that in your mind, there is not even any question about <em>if</em> you are gay or not. If he might be <strong>wrong</strong> about how he feels.</p><p>Their family has enough disappointments to their name and he dreads to think he might be adding to that.</p><p>The other has gone quiet and he almost thinks Takaaki might have fallen asleep, but then he hears the door alarm go off as the front door slam open, firmly putting an end to any possibility of that as Hiroko loudly announces their return. Slightly drunk, by the sounds of it. Which is confirmed by the dining room door sliding open, this time. Kiyotaka opens his mouth to greet them, but ends up with an armful of drunken affectionate from his...newfound maternal figure. Who has apparently seen it necessary to inform him exactly how much she has missed him in the three or so hours that she has been gone. He ignores the smell of beer when she exhales against him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as if he was seven, not seventeen.</p><p>Instead, his hand reaches for a clean glass off the table and fumbles with the now cold kettle of tea, before holding the cup up to her lips to drink from. Over her head, Yasuhiro catches his eye and mouths an apology to him, raising the bag in his hands as if trying to make amends. “...We brought cake back with us?” Meanwhile, Hiroko’s grip around his shirt tightens just a bit as she settles, and he pays it no mind ( other than the brief moment he takes to take the now empty cup from her before it can be dropped ).</p><p>Out of habit, some part of his brain wonders if they can really afford such frivolity over something like a birthday, when they have probably already spent a bit tonight. He doesn’t want to ruin the good mood tonight, shuts that part of his brain down and pushes that thought out of his head. He attempts a small half-smile to the other as he basks in the unfamiliar sensation of a mother's affection, of a role model he’d never known—</p><p>“H-Hey, Ma, don’tcha think—”</p><p>“Hiroko, enough— you’re going to choke him—”</p><p>Yes, this might not have been the idea of a family that Kiyotaka had grown up with, nor is it quite one everyone else would consider normal— but it is his, and in time, he knows he can get used to it.</p><p>( You can’t ask for anything more than that )</p>
<hr/><p>From a very early age, his peers made sure to make Kiyotaka aware of exactly how much unlike the rest of them he was, and why that was a bad thing. He talked too loudly. Smiled too widely, in a manner that was considered terrifying with the rest of his facial expressions. Cried too easily. Did not understand things like other kids— or conversely, you understood too much. Was branded with the burden of the Ishimaru name, like a target on his back. The lack of a mother was just one more thing for the other kids to stare at and pick on him for. Or shun him entirely for, he supposed, depending on what bullying tactic the day called for.</p><p>( It is hard to hurt him for something he doesn’t really understand missing out on, but it does drive home the point that they consider him abnormal for that. So even if he tries to not care too much about what people think of him, as a child, he still gets hung up a bit on the reasons )</p><p>But he’s satisfied with him and his father and so he never really seeks to have that gap in his life filled: perhaps that is why he is both so accepting and so hesitant to have Hiroko in his life. The desire for something that would make him a little more ‘acceptable’ and the coinciding aversion to filling a role in his life that he had always lived fine without.</p><p>For her own part, she has never pressured Kiyotaka into referring to her as a mother, despite the fact that she refers to him as her son. Readily so, once he had communicated to her that <em>yes</em>, it was okay for her to do so and <strong>no</strong>, it did not make him feel uncomfortable he just does not have a good grasp over how his emotions come across on his face he is sorry for crying even though he does not mean to <em>please do not take it personally</em>—</p><p>You wanted to be grateful for it, after all.</p><p>( In all fairness, they weren’t married, but as Yasuhiro points out, they might as well be, given enough time. Or at least that is what Kiyotaka concludes as to why everyone else seems to fall into the dichotomy expected of them and he does not. There is no guide on matters like these, and even if he were to study it, he thinks he would still be far behind in comparison. Ever the outsider, it seems, even within his own family )</p><p>Still, she does not try to place herself in a role that he has never really needed filled, which helps, and instead just tries to cover the parts where Takaaki’s parenting falls short of. In essence, she becomes another laid-back presence in his life to counteract the sternness which his father carries himself with— and the strictness he has exercised in his own self-discipline.</p><p>( For the record, that is not to say she can’t be strict, as Kiyotaka quickly found out when he had caught a chill during winter break. As a nurse she was fairly good at keeping tabs on their health, and both Ishimaru’s had overworking habits that made her grind her teeth with exasperation ).</p><p>Of equal importance is the notable fact that she’s the openly affectionate, overly doting parental figure, which is nice. His father might understand his wildly drastic emotions, but had never really been much of a tactile person. So save for the rare occasion that he would initiate it himself, Kiyotaka never sought that from him. He was too much of a restless child anyways, he rationalizes with himself, that it would be an annoyance to a parent already tired out most of the time. Mondo tells him that he is just touch starved, leaning into his hand more than is probably acceptable. But there’s a different weight to it, knowing her sentiments come from a parental stance that had been previously absent in his life; not just anyone that was close to him.</p><p>He might be able to think of Hiroko as a mother to him, in some capacity, but it is a lot harder to voice that sentiment aloud. Like it is wrong to say the words now, or in doing so will diminish their value. In comparison, Yasuhiro seems to have no issues in referring to Takaaki as his ‘dad’. Admittedly, and only because he knows how intensely he feels every feeling, even if it seems like it is simmering silently in him— to watch the ease of this exchange makes him envious. It leaves him feeling some sort of bitterness, while his own voice catches in his throat and sometimes the tears sting in his eyes for reasons he cannot name.</p><p>It’s always <em>your</em> own fault, after all. Everyone else seems to have wrapped their heads around the idea of family, while he struggles to catch up. When they are away at school, he can pretend like he doesn’t notice: right now, everything feels too in his face. Almost intentional, but he knows it is not that way.</p><p>He does not quite mean to do so, but ends up voicing these frustrations to Mondo during one of their many nightly calls. In his defense, it’s only because even without seeing him, the biker can tell that something is bothering him based solely on vocal cues, apparently. He feels a little troubled to know that he is such an open book that they do not even need to be standing in the same room for him to get a good read on him.</p><p>Even if it’s not the topic he means to bring up, he still feels bad that it is the one they end up on— because he knows his situation with his own parents hadn’t ever been anything good, and the next closest thing he had was <em>Daiya</em>, and Daiya is, well. He understands well enough that it’s a hard topic for him. And then, seeming to pick up on what Kiyotaka needs from him, Mondo comforts him by reminding him of the fact that it's still an adjustment period for all of them.</p><p>“So what if yer taking a little longer to get used to it all? You said your dad still slips up sometimes, right? So don’t be so harsh ‘n yourself, no one’s gonna rush ya. You’ve always done things at yer own pace, and tha’s fine.” Mondo reassures him, and Kiyotaka wishes it was that easy to reassure the anxiety in his head and just grasp the straightforward confidence he usually approached things with. He must have made some kind of quiet whine in his throat, or Mondo just knows him that well, because he follows up with, “Breathe. I promise things ‘ll be fine, Kiyotaka.”</p><p>He feels a little more consoled with the promise that rings in his ears, quietly echoing the words to himself in a soft murmur. This is a long-term battle that he must grapple with himself, and decides to just accept that he will just have to put in the effort until he finds himself more comfortable in making progress on that front.</p><p>The hardest thing to get used to is having an overly doting parental figure is not the affection, in whatever manner she expresses that in, but the way that tends to be overly encouraging, he supposes. At Hope’s Peak, he finally has peers that are ( at least somewhat ) supportive about his endeavors, and Takaaki has been proud of Kiyotaka’s accomplishments many times before. But both of them have Toranosuke’s ghost hovering over their shoulders and a heavy weight on their minds, and the presence of the influence he still has over their lives stops them from getting too carried away with that kind of pride and ego. It’s different from what comes from her, no self-restraint.</p><p>The part that not even he himself really acknowledges is that it is a struggle to accept a tender approval that does not feel earned. The warm affection of those words reach him, and for the briefest of moments, he feels warmed by them— yet some part of them die when they reach his ears, and echo cold and empty in his chest. With his peers, he at least can tell he is making an effort to support them in kind, even if his efforts might fall short at times: but here Kiyotaka does not feel like he’s giving enough to Hiroko in kind. If even a thing at all could even be offered by him; she already has a son, after all.</p><p>Fukawa, with two mothers and a father and an intensely complicated family situation— based on an overwhelming amount evidence and general observations, even he can gather that it’s far from loving— cannot relate; but communicates something of understanding as kids ostracized from the rest for things that kids have no control over.</p><p>( Children do not understand what is unusual when they grow up believing it is the norm, and will claim it to be until otherwise proven. It is not normal to have one or three parents, but two and two only, by traditional standards. A child who says anything else but that is thus declared weird. And weird children do not get accepted in a society dependent on some degree of conformity. You know this for a fact, like the rules that guide you: because delinquents that go against these norms are supposed to be bad and evil and he knows that is not entirely true nowadays )</p><p>He takes some solace in knowing that at least she’s not unhappy spending her break mostly alone at Hope's Peak. His original plans would have been to do the same, because coming home feels like an extra financial burden for his father already doing so much, but as their home life now stands, he doesn’t have that choice. Well, he does, but he is pretty sure no one else would agree with him on that front. At least analyzing the book that has been assigned as part of their summer coursework is interesting— Fukawa’s English is naturally better than his, so between the two of them, they have a decent perspective to work off of.</p><p>He can smell the cigarette smoke before he can even hear Hiroko say a thing. He had always thought it was a little...hypocritical? For a nurse to smoke so heavily and then go on to lecture him on his own habits. He pauses, in the middle of discussing the symbolism behind the usage of certain imagery— apologizes as he puts an abrupt end to their call and marks his place in his book. “I am in the middle of something, if you were needing me for something—” He cuts himself off when he turns in his seat to see her, startled by the look that she’s giving him.</p><p>“Kiyotaka. When was the last time you took a break?” The calmness that she speaks with belies her anger; he can recognize the slight ( displeased ) twitch in her lip. And the usage of his full name, no diminutive. He has seen her anger before, but it isn’t an emotion usually directed at him, and takes a glance at the clock to properly acknowledge her question.</p><p>“...Oh.” It’s three, so, uh, several hours, which is likely not the answer she wants to hear. As if now suddenly aware of everything, his stomach cramps a little and his throat feels very dry. “Not that long ago.” A lie, but—</p><p>“Is that why you managed to skip lunch?” Oh, so she did know. It’s Tuesday, right; which meant she had today off. And thus, was more than aware of the fact that he had managed to study straight through his scheduled ‘lunch’ break.</p><p>He grimaces, opening his mouth to make an argument for himself— or maybe an apology— but she interrupts before he can coherently get anything out, lifting him to his feet without a problem. A reminder of exactly how terrifying she could be when determined ( and upset ). “Nope, don’t want to hear it, kiddo. You’re eating something and then we’re going shopping.” She says, hand on his back as she pushes him in the direction of the kitchen, and he is ever complaint, knowing that this is not a battle he can win. However...</p><p>“Shopping? What for?” He grabs an apple from the fruit bowl to wash and cut; probably the quickest and easiest thing to eat that will also please Hiroko in lieu of his missed meal.</p><p>“Dinner, of course. We need groceries for tonight's dinner, and since you’re the only one home, you’re coming with me. You need a good break away from your desk, Kiyomaru.” Normally, he would protest this, but he is quite sure he will not be winning this argument, all things considered; so he simply just makes his meal quick so they can leave.</p><p>He still doesn’t entirely know his way around this city, so he has to follow Hiroko’s lead to figure out where they are going: one of his tasks for the summer is to better acquaint himself with the town layout so that he does not get lost, at some point. He might find it strange to not be in the same small city that he had grown up in all his life, but there doesn’t feel like the same crushing burden here that he’d felt from his hometown. They might still get looks by virtue of being <em>Ishimaru’s</em>— but as people who had not been so readily affected by his grandfather’s actions, the hatred is...less, he supposes. More bearable, if you could ever consider such admissible.</p><p>It still makes him feel like he sticks out all wrong as he follows Hiroko around the grocery store, carrying a basket for them. Or maybe it is the way he can feel eyes on them that makes his senses feel heightened in a way that is almost paranoid. Perhaps it’s the contrast of him, pale skinned and dark hair, and her, dark skin and pastel hair ( and the judgement— people are always judging appearances ). Maybe it is the odd few inches that he has on her.</p><p>Or it is the way he can practically hear the whispers and jeers— nothing Kiyotaka is not used to, but— he puts a firm end to that train of thought and focuses on their shopping. He would prefer not getting too out of his head in the middle of the supermarket. Speaking of which, he cannot figure out what exactly they’re after. “What is for dinner, by the way? We’ve come back to the vegetables three times now.” Not that he really minds; it is admittedly nice moving his legs after sitting so long. But it’s probably proof he should just add some kind of early morning exercise to his schedule to make up for not being able to use the school gym.</p><p>Hiroko pauses, looking between him, the cabbage in her hands, and the basket that he’s carrying; and speaks as if it were fairly obvious. “I was going to wing it. Figure it out once we get everything home.”</p><p>That is, quite frankly, not the answer he was expecting in the least, not even close to reassuring— also perhaps one of the worst answers he could get, for someone who likes to expect things to be planned out in advance. Even over something as simple as the meals they are having that day. He pauses, takes in what has been gathered in their basket, and makes the decision for her. “...Hotpot. We’ll eat hotpot.”</p><p>She seems to accept that decision without question, adding the cabbage to the basket before taking it from him with a smile. “Good choice, Kiyomaru.”</p><p>Groceries are paid for, and some part of his mind is always keeping a close eye on numbers and costs, and ponders on if he should have double checked if there were cheaper alternatives, or something he could have put back because they probably still had some at home— if even a simple hundred yen would come to make a difference for them in the near future. Kiyotaka overthinks everything more than he should, and follows Hiroko out the store more out of habit than any actual awareness of himself.</p><p>The feeling of fingers squeezing his elbow makes him aware of the fact that she is, in fact, talking to him. He should really try to focus on what she says, despite the fact that he does not feel wholly conscious of himself; and manages to catch the tail end of what must have been flattery, because he hears her say, “—of course, I’d expect nothing less of you. You are my son, after all.”</p><p>“‘m not.” He mumbles to himself without really meaning to. She must manage to hear some of it though, since she gives him a sort of questioning look that seems to implore him to go in. It reminds him of the fact that he thinks sometimes she would do better as a counselor than a nurse ( and then he remembers several things that makes him question how she qualifies for either, actually ).</p><p>The more he tries to act like things are fine, the closer he gets to the tipping point— inevitably, your emotions will splash over the edge, you know this. He has been toeing that line too much lately, and when he crashes, he crashes hard; perhaps his snapping point has been overdue. With a sudden burst of confidence that he is not quite sure where it came from, he speaks up, louder. Voice cracking in half-shuddered shouts. “I don’t think you should expect...I don’t th-think you— I mean... uhm...I am not, not like that. Perfect. I f...f...I mess up lots— messed up today even...! So why would you not assume th...” A sharp inhale, shaking— are people staring at them? His eyes dart around a little anxiously, a mix of unease and nerves. He doesn’t think there should be many people out right now, despite the fact they have paused in the middle of the sidewalk, but he can’t really think that clearly at the moment. Cannot focus on anything except a repetitive <em>can’t can’t can’t </em>that echoes in his head. His gaze settles for staring at the uneven sidewalk, like the cracks in the sidewalk might bring him some solace about his own flaws. “ I can’t be g— no, I don’t want to be w... should not be w-worth it when I don’t—” His voice cuts off with a heaving breath, body minutely pitching itself forward.</p><p>Affection is a wonderful thing, Kiyotaka thinks. Somewhere along the way it has become a thing that suffocates him because he is not used to it in the way that she shows, and the image of him that she creates in her doting feels like a burden to live up to. An ideal version of himself he has not quite earned.</p><p>Another thing he feels the need to try and please people with.</p><p>That painful desire to want to be accepted and the aversion to something he had always functioned fine without. Humans are so very afraid of change, after all— even someone who tries to live with as much confidence as him. He might take every obstacle as a hurdle to leap over, but there are some challenges that even he needs to take more steadily.</p><p>His chest heaves with breaths and tears— tears he has not quite meant to shed and at some point she has pulled him her arms, a cautious gesture given his current state of mind. “Better now?”</p><p>“‘m sorry.” He mumbles somewhere halfway between sobs as his hands cling to her for some kind of support, and her fingers catch the back of his head; reflexively, he melts into her shoulder with a quiet whine. He tries to say something about the fact that the groceries are probably going to go bad in the heat, or that he has to be embarrassing her like this, but he can hardly say anything coherent and she shushes him.</p><p>“Kiyotaka. I do not love you out of principle of being my son. I do not love you for being perfect. I love you for being you. You are not perfect. Takaaki is not perfect. Yasuhiro is not perfect. That does not mean I love any of you any less for being flawed individuals.” Hiroko presses her fingers into his scalp gently, gently presses his face a little further into her shoulder. “We’re human. We mess up sometimes and we learn. That does not make you worth any less, and it does not make me any less proud to have you as a son. Understood?”</p><p>He hiccups and mumbles his way through another apology for not having had this conversation sooner. For not realizing sooner.</p><p>“Do you not want me to call you my son? Your comfort comes first, Kiyotaka. Remember that.” He shakes his head into her shoulder, lifts his head to say something about <em>how that hadn’t been an issue, really</em> through his tears, but she cuts him off him before he can. He sniffles and breathes through his mouth and focuses on the arm holding him close as he calms down. “We’ll get there eventually, okay? We’re okay. We will talk about this later and figure out some good boundaries.”</p><p>Boundaries. It feels a little weak to need that— not that there was anything wrong with it, but maybe makes him feel a little silly for not trying to better establish that sooner. “Mm...I— uh, er, yes. I want to...I would like that very much. Th-Thank you. M-M...” Nope, he cannot quite force that word out of himself yet. Kiyotaka feels like he should say something else, like he loves her or at the very least appreciates, you know, everything that she does in her own way to show that she loves him, or maybe just derail entirely from any lingering embarrassment about this whole situation that he might feel by getting them back on track to go home.</p><p>Instead, his mind manages to blurt out, <em>I think I might be gay</em>, and he’s not sure what is more mortifying: the fact that he has managed to half-shout this fact to the public, or that he has probably very much ruined what would otherwise be a very touching moment by accidentally coming out to his father’s girlfriend-practically-wife after having a very public meltdown. He settles for burying his face back in her shoulder as he tries not to start crying again out of humiliation.</p><p>“And I will still love you, even if you’re gay.” Hiroko sounds amused as she pats his back, which is better than abject disgust at least, and certainly not the worst way that exchange could have ended. “We’ll get through it just fine, kiddo.”</p><p>Still, he clenches his teeth and squeaks out an entirely distressed, “Please don’t tell father.” That manages to get a laugh out of her, though she is quick to reassure that her lips are sealed.</p><p>The day that he can speak to her without worrying about his voice catching in his throat doesn’t feel so far off right now. Not quite yet, but soon, you think; he will be able to call her mother and be someone worth being called her son. So yeah, Kiyotaka thinks they’ll be okay, eventually.</p><p>( The same cannot be said for their groceries, however, and they modify their dinner plans greatly in the interest of not giving everyone food poisoning )</p>
<hr/><p>Not that Kiyotaka likes putting stock in any prediction that comes from Yasuhiro Hagakure’s mouth, but unfortunately sometimes, he realizes, he should probably take his talents more seriously. It would help greatly, however, if he had better timing when it came to the execution of revealing his predictions.</p><p>“Hey, Kiyotaka-chi, is there anything important coming up?” Yasuhiro’s voice is so sudden from behind him that he jumps and almost fumbles with the knife in his hand. Hiroko shoots her son a scathing look.</p><p>“What have I said about starting predictions in the kitchen?” She scolds, inspecting his hands for any cuts. “Only allowed if you’re doing tea leaf readings or if the world is ending. Go wait at the table. We’re almost done.” Yasuhiro raises his hands in defeat and goes back out to the dining room.</p><p>But once they are all seated around the table, he repeats the question once more. “I get the feeling something’s gonna go wrong if you forget, that’s all.” Ah, one of Hagakure’s famous predictions— from the corner of his eye, he can see his father’s expression change from mildly irritated to tired, already used to this. Kiyotaka wishes he could say the same, after having witnessed this for over a year now.</p><p>It's a strange thing because he thinks of Yasuhiro as his classmate first and sibling second— not that there is exactly anything wrong with that ( he’s proud? to have him to count on. He thinks so, at least ). He does wonder if it seems weird to address someone that is technically family so <em>formally</em>; he had never been close to any other relatives for obvious reasons. He reminds himself about adjustment periods, and tries to be a little less harsh on himself for the way he feels.</p><p>“A seventy percent chance that things might go better if forgotten about, then.” He concludes, although that sounds more like Naegi’s version of luck, and he is not really sure which of those things might be better. It is certainly not comforting that that’s the first connection his mind had made. His odds might be slightly better than luck, or so he hopes. “Besides, that would depend on what is considered important. But everything of note is written out in my schedule, so I think it is unlikely that I will be forgetting anything too important.”</p><p>He puts it out of his mind— and not even an hour later, is reminded exactly why, no matter how nonsensical Hagakure ( and his predictions ) might seem, he should never take him lightly.</p><p>See, the thing is, despite missing out on a lot of social cues or being unable to put some parts of the whole picture together, Kiyotaka is pretty good at noticing some things about his peers that he thinks other people miss. Maybe it is just because he has always been the outsider looking in around other people. When it comes to Yasuhiro in particular, he realizes that he’s almost <em>ridiculously</em> good at playing dumb: as flawed and lacking in drive as he might be, he realizes that he is not nearly as unintelligent as he would seem. As someone who has had expectations placed on them by the world from the moment they were born, you think you might understand the desire to want to escape the pressures that the rest of society would come to anticipate from them.</p><p>In short, while he would concede that he might be intellectually lacking, he contends that he’s not nearly as dim as he might lead people to believe. He is good at <strong>acting </strong>like he truly is dull, so naturally, Kiyotaka forgets this fact and is surprised whenever it becomes something of relevance.</p><p>Case in point: Kiyotaka hears his phone go off and realizes that it is later than he thought it was and was supposed to be in a call with Chihiro and Mondo approximately five minutes ago, and gets up to excuse himself from the table because Mondo has no tact or patience and will keep calling until he picks up <em> which only adds to his anxiety, they’ve talked about this</em>—</p><p>And then catches his foot on a towel out in the hallway, wipes out and twists his ankle. Or at least, that is the very prompt diagnosis that Hiroko gives upon prodding at his foot. Considering it hurts, he presumes she is absolutely correct on that, and groans into his phone when Yasuhiro brings it to him.</p><p>( On the bright side, no one can actually be upset with him when this inevitably means that he is stuck limiting his movements by staying inside for the next few days )</p><p>Yasuhiro takes it upon himself to stay home with him in case he needs help, a sentiment that is completely unnecessary, because not only does Kiyotaka dislike the idea of bothering him over this injury, it also proves to be quite the opposite in terms of who is helping who.</p><p>There’s a knock on the door before it slides open and he pokes his head in. “Kiyo-chi, have you seen the first aid kit? We need it.”</p><p>“Have you checked under the bathroom sink already?” He loathes to think what ( or rather, who ) he means by <strong>we</strong>, but pushes himself up to help search on the basis that he figures that will probably be more efficient. “What exactly do you need? I think we should have a roll of bandages in the cabinet, asides from the spare first aid kit in the kitchen.”</p><p>“Can’t find the bathroom one, I think mom forgot to put it back after wrapping up your leg. And uhhh, I think we need some disinfectant too? There’s bleeding.”</p><p>He sighs. He knows their mother means well, but sometimes he does question how she manages. “Go double check around the living room table, then. I’ll find the peroxide.” Although that one should still be in its proper spot in the cabinet, which makes his task easier; he has to grimace a little with the weight that he puts on his foot as he walks.</p><p>There’s already someone waiting in the bathroom when he gets there, and stares for just a moment before moving towards the cabinet like this is a normal occurrence. He must have seen her before somewhere because she seems familiar, although he cannot quite put a name to her face. He’s got the peroxide and cotton balls out by the time he returns with the first aid kit. “It got buried under dad’s newspapers. Ah— Kiyotaka-chi, you know Kanon-chi, right?” <em>Should he?</em> He wants to ask back, although that’s enough to jog his memory. This is Kanon Nakajima; and he comes to the realization that by we, Yasuhiro had not been referring to Kanon, but rather—</p><p>An arm slings itself around his shoulder and tugs him down obnoxiously as he sighs. “Good afternoon, Kuwata-kun.”</p><p>“You could sound a lil’ more welcome to see us, man. Owada says you’ve been holed up here the entire break to study and we’ve gotta be more interesting than that shit.” He ignores this in favor of not so subtly trying to shrug off his arm.</p><p>“Yes, well, not all of us can skip out on practice and not be affected in the slightest.” He sounds a little more bitter than he means to, and the other pulls back slightly.</p><p>“Harsh.” Kuwata mutters. “Missed you too, man.”</p><p>“Yes, I too miss having to give you detention for breaking the rules. Please let go of me so I can assist in cleaning up Nakajima-kun’s wounds. You’re horrible at tying knots correctly.” He adds before Yasuhiro can say anything, gently taking Nakajima’s hand to inspect the extent of her injury. Are those splinters? He frowns, digging out tweezers from the first aid kit. “I’m not even going to ask what on earth you all were doing for this to happen.”</p><p>“Well you see—”</p><p>“Nope. Do not want to hear it.” He’d only be able to lecture them for being irresponsible anyways, and he already feels like he has a headache without that.</p><p>“Killjoy.” He grumbles, but quiets down so he can focus on cleaning her injury. Which he appreciates, since using tweezers are not the easiest, especially since they both keep wincing and murmurs an apology when he thinks he pulls a little harder than he means to.</p><p>“There we go.” He announces once he has finished, waving off the thanks that he gets from her and turns to hobble back down the hallway to return to his studies, but he is firmly stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist.</p><p>“Unhand me.” He frowns, firmly attempting to tug his hand away without needing to use too much force.</p><p>“Hm...” For a moment, he thinks Kuwata might be considering it, but then his grip tightens. “Nah.”</p><p>And like the traitor that he is, Yasuhiro grabs onto his other arm. “Time for a break, Kiyotaka-chi!”</p><p>“I don’t get a say in this, do I?” He relents so quickly that it surprises even him, honestly. Hm. Maybe he has missed the usual interruptions to his studies that his peers usually provide.</p><p>( Not that he will ever openly acknowledge that, especially to the two he is currently with, lest that encourage them to openly interfere with his responsibilities by slacking off on their own )</p><p>Of course, with two of them injured to some extent, this rather limits the number of activities they can all consider taking part in, so they put in a ( bad ) horror film to watch. And by watch he means Yasuhiro and Kuwata critique it while Nakajima makes faces and Kiyotaka considers how inherently worthless this feels. He tries not to focus too much on the fact that his mind thinks that this is a waste of time, like most of his leisure activities, and instead thinks about the fact that he probably could have used the break and even if you cannot appreciate it the way most people do, he’s not bored. If he really thinks about it, he could call it fun, in the sense it helps him feel like he understands his peers a little better, if only for a moment.</p><p>His father works late that night, so Hiroko is the only one to join them for dinner, pleased to have guests over. “Kiyomaru, you could do the same, you know. It’d be fun to see your friends too.” Yasuhiro, ever unhelpful, makes some kind of comment that could be interpreted as agreement.</p><p>He is pretty sure his mother’s idea of fun and his own are quite different— and Kuwata’s barely stifled snicker tells him that their trains of thought probably come to the same conclusion. “Just make sure you have Fujisaki here to help mediate and I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Unfortunately, he feels inclined to agree with that: except it also makes it sound like he wouldn’t want her here by virtue of being her own person, which is a little demeaning, in his opinion.</p><p>( He notes that Kuwata looks like he wants to say something else, but Yasuhiro shoots him a look to cut him off before he can even consider voicing it. <strong>Odd</strong> ).</p><p>Later, while they set up their sleeping arrangements in the living room, he and Yasuhiro clean up the dishes. Which might be more of him cleaning the dishes while the other reorganizes the drying rack. “Sorry for putting you on the spot like that earlier.”</p><p>He pauses, and takes a moment to think about what he means by that. “It’s fine. Not entirely your fault, anyways.”</p><p>“Ma...she means well, you know. She just wants to respect your boundaries too. We— she worries about you not taking time for yourself.” He gives him a pointed look, as if to communicate he did not miss that brief slip up. If one could call it that.</p><p>“Well—” He hesitates, uncertain how to say what he wants to without feeling like he sounds ungrateful. “I appreciate the concern. But it really isn’t necessary! I am happy the way things are.”</p><p>“Huh.” Hagakure sounds thoughtful. “So you won’t be upset if I invite someone else over sometime?”</p><p>His brows furrowed a little, putting down the plate he had been drying to look him in the eyes. “Why are you saying it like I should be?”</p><p>“Uh...n-no reason!” There’s a nervous hitch to his laugh as he backs up away. “I’m gonna go check on if they’re settled in for the night!”</p><p>“Wait, Hagakure—” But before he can say anything else about it, Yasuhiro’s already down the hall, calling Leon’s name. He is left huffing in frustration and wondering what that was all about.</p><p>He should have been able to predict what to expect without being clairvoyant, but he manages to be taken off guard by it. Or maybe it is just the timing of it all that surprises him, since he was on the phone with Chihiro because she wanted someone to soundboard ideas off of, and manages to miss hearing the familiar footsteps in the hallway when Mondo Owada decides to barge into his bedroom without warning.</p><p>“Knock on the door first!” He scolds, phone held away from him so that Chihiro does not need to get a sudden earful of yelling. “Barging in like that is very rude!”</p><p>“I travel all the way down here ta see you and ya treat me like this?” Mondo pouts at him, a gesture he is pretty sure is mostly exaggerated ( and also something he would firmly deny, if he pointed it out ), then shakes his head. “Why would I? Not like you’d be doing ‘nything indecent.” Kiyotaka sputters at that and he can hear Chihiro giggling at him over the phone line. Right. He is still on the phone. He should probably end the call.</p><p>“Very sorry to have interrupted you like this, Chihiro, but—” The phone is yanked from his grip with a yelp, glaring at the other.</p><p>“’ey Chi. Sorry to steal him from you. I’m sure he’ll call ya back later?” Kiyotaka thinks he doesn’t sound very apologetic. He glances down at him, and he nods back at him to confirm this. “Yeah, he’ll call you back, ‘kay kid? Chat with ya later.”</p><p>And then there is a moment of silence, in which he thinks he should fill with a simple ‘Hello’, or ask if he is doing okay or if there’s a specific reason he is here, maybe ask how things are with the gang— his brain forgoes any of those conversation starters to say, “I missed you!” And then kind of immediately shuts down out of embarrassment and mentally smacks himself as he focuses on neatly putting away his classwork so he doesn’t have to look at him.</p><p>( Because, while his words were not untrue by any stretch, it feels a little more personal than he meant to be. And also clingy? Because it’s not like they have not been talking during their break or anything like that, so it isn’t like they haven’t communicated at all or anything during the past month; it is just that it's not the same as being with each other in person )</p><p>Thankfully, Mondo either understands what he means, or overlooks it entirely, since he responds by putting his arm around his shoulders. “Would hope so. Considering I’ve been tryin’ ta convince you to come hang out—”</p><p>“As much as I’m sure your gang is full of good people, knowing you all will be riding around without helmets is too greatly distressing.” He informs him. “Furthermore, as I have told you, you are more than welcome to join me in studying—”</p><p>“Tha’s boring.” He whines at him— <em>whines</em>— as he leans into him. That’s. This is fine. They have always been touchy with each other, being without it for even a few weeks should not feel like it sets his nerves on fire. “And I’ve been wearin’ my helmet lately ‘cause I know ya hate it, kyodai.”</p><p>He has to swallow thickly and not shut down again, biting his lip and not thinking too much or else he will probably get flustered and embarrass himself. Further, that is. “I would appreciate it if you would do so for the sake of your own safety and not because of me.”</p><p>“Same difference.” Mondo snorts, and he has to hold back a distressed shout of <em>No, those are very different things!</em> And doesn’t really have a chance to get further than that in his thoughts because the other pulls back and straightens up— only to yank Kiyotaka up along with him and tug him into a hug.</p><p>A pause as he pats his back, uncertain as to where to settle his hands whenever he feels this kind of restlessness, but the tightening squeeze around his waist helps him settle his hands at his side and ignore the hair tickling his cheek. There is a muffled murmur from the other, and he has to tug Mondo’s face out from where it is tucked into his shoulder to properly hear him. His hand lingers for a moment, thinking about how warm his skin is and <em>if he leaned in a little further forward they would be kissing</em>. It isn’t the first time he’s had such a thought, even if it still surprises him— it is just not really a thought he needs to have right now.</p><p>He tries to prod Mondo on what’s bothering him: because no matter how enthusiastically he had greeted him, he can read his best friend well enough to know when he’s bothered by something ( in which case doesn’t make this visit entirely selfless, but Kiyotaka would be lying if he said he was not being selfish himself ). But an insecure Mondo is not easily swayed on talking, so he gently pulls him over to the bed and sprawls out on it with him, hands petting at hair like one might to please a pet. Like one, the biker melts into the touch, a quiet rumble reverberating in his chest.</p><p>Under most circumstances, Kiyotaka would not allow himself a long break like this, but right now he can grant himself this time with his friend. Perhaps he just wants to be a little selfish for once. Maybe they both just need this; a break from everything else and some time to recharge.</p><p>Or maybe it’s just him, because after a while, Mondo props himself up on his elbows. Which digs into his gut slightly and causes him to grunt, shifting to let up slightly. “Sorry.”</p><p>His brows furrow slightly in confusion. “Ah?”</p><p>“Yer going through enough of your own crap that you don’ need my shit on top of it.” He mutters, sounding reluctant to speak. Part of him wants to say he does not need to explain, not if he doesn’t want to, but some other part of him lets his curiosity get the best of him. Wants him to show this vulnerability, and bites his tongue to let him get this off his chest. “It’s just...ya know. We spend a lot of time together...a-at school. Even though we talk all the time, ya didn’t really seem like— didn’t really seem like you wanted to see me during break. S-Started getting all in my head about it!” Kiyotaka can recognize Mondo’s typical nervous habits, and interrupts with a small squeeze, an attempt of being reassuring as he talks about all this. He meets his gaze briefly before looking away, ears burning. “Wondering if ya were sick of me, ‘cause you know I wouldn’t blame ya for that, or just couldn’t bear to bring me ‘round yer family—you never really talk about ‘em, y’know? Started trying to push you away a little ‘cause I couldn’t stand it. Guess I understand why now— but still shouldn’t have assumed that about ya just ‘cause I was feeling insecure, I guess. You’ve got— You’ve got a family that you should be putting first an’ I get that. Wouldn’t want you picking me over that.”</p><p>Is that how he was feeling? He feels a bit bad for apparently not noticing this, with every other concern that he’s had in his head lately. As someone who has worried that he might be a little too clingy because he is bad at understanding socialization sometimes and does not entirely know if he is always good at being friends with people, feels at least a little reassured in knowing he was not entirely alone in...wanting? Missing? Having that closeness.</p><p>This feels like a situation much easier to rectify, knowing that much. “You’re being a little ridiculous, you know.” That gets an indignant noise from the other, but Kiyotaka continues speaking before he can get a word in. “We do spend lots of time together! I thought you would...need a break from my presence— a-and besides that, the Diamonds are your family too, right? You don’t usually get to be with them because we’re in the dorms, so I wanted you to spend time with them since we get most of the rest of the year together.” He’s quiet for a moment, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Mondo’s ear, hand remains there for a moment as his mind once again lingers on <em>it would be so easy to lean in and press your lips</em>— “Furthermore, it is not a matter of picking! Of course, my family is very important to me, but so are you! So please do not think about it like that.”</p><p>“Sometimes I just want to take a break from the gang.” Mondo grumbles, and he feels like there’s something he is not saying there, but what he says next distracts him from thinking about it too much. “You feel like h...uh, we’re kind of like family too— I mean, we’re kyodai, right?”</p><p>“That’s right!” He says with far too much enthusiasm, while the pits of his stomach feels far from being happy— if Mondo can tell how fake and forced his response is, he certainly doesn’t call him out on it, even if he stares at him for a long moment afterwards. He can’t take the silence, so he breaks it by asking about the gang, and the prompt almost immediately gets him to jump into a long spiel.</p><p>There’s something about Mondo’s voice that has always been very comforting to him— a rich baritone that washes over him, pride for his gang clear as day. The specifics of the topic are not entirely something he grasps, but finds himself invested in listening to nonetheless. He goes slack as he listens to him go off on a tangent; eyes shut, fingers loosely tangled in his hair, and a warm body pressed against his. Somewhere between being awake and asleep, he misses the flush of the other’s cheeks as he watches him, but catches silent signs in his body language that conveys his high spirits: the way he goes from being very taut to unwinding muscles. The contented puffs of air as he exhales, the slow press of fingers rubbing patterns into his side, the low hum in his throat, and the way he can feel his smile almost carve itself into his body.</p><p>It is around this point that Kiyotaka realizes that the house is silent for a particular reason— both parents work late tonight. An intentional move on Yasuhiro’s part, likely; aforementioned person also knows damn well himself that it is generally a good idea to give them space. Even if the clairvoyant does not know the reason Mondo jumps to being angry ( defensive habit rooted in anxiety, in actuality ) is because of his own embarrassment, when he gets nervous. And even he’s not dull enough to usually invoke his ire on purpose. Also when he thinks about it a little more, he thinks Chihiro maybe had also been aware of it and was on the phone to keep him occupied so really he has to wonder how many people that were not him had been involved in the planning of this and for which reason exactly.</p><p>Yasuhiro does have to interrupt them eventually, asking if they want dinner, and even then he looks...vaguely apologetic? Though that probably has to do more with the fact that Mondo glares at him ( and also growls, but he is not sure if anyone other than him picked up on that ), and not that he’s intruding on his privacy. Or because he is interrupting on something that would look odd from an outsider’s perspective. Although it turns out that the real reason he was asking was because he had almost burned the meat and needed help salvaging the dish. He ends up having to kick them both out of the kitchen because Mondo won’t stop hovering over his shoulder <em>which is distracting him very much</em>, and he doesn’t trust Yasuhiro to be of help when it’s his fault that he’s rescuing his attempt at cooking.</p><p>The sound of them bickering in the living room is almost equally distracting, but he ca not make words out distinctly enough to divert his attention away from his task— and simply hopes that’s not the sound of a fight that he needs to be breaking up.</p><p>Mondo leaves not too long after dinner, but only because Kiyotaka starts to lecture him on the dangers of driving too late at night ( even when he is reassured that he does it all the time, because <em>just because you are used to it doesn’t mean something might not happen, and furthermore—</em> ). And for a moment they stand there in silence, with the other looking at him in a way he cannot place and he mentally thanks the fact it is dark out for hiding his own red face ( but also wonders if it were light out, if he would understand that look better ). There’s a very long hug that they share before he heads off, that leaves him warm in a way that he can’t entirely blame on the warm summer night air.</p><p>( Some part of him acknowledges he should talk to Yasuhiro, but he needs a minute to cool down first, so he takes care of their dirty dishes and pack up the leftovers before he goes to find him )</p><p>He does not say anything when he joins him on the back porch, gaze barely moving away from where he’s staring up at the sky to acknowledge him. There is a brief moment where he hesitates before sitting down, despite the fact that he knows his clothes will probably get dirty out here, knees pulled up to his chest. He might minimize some of the damage this way. He doesn’t try and say anything, peering up at the sky as if it might offer him some kind of answer ( namely, what he finds so interesting about it ), but then Yasuhiro opens his mouth to say something. “Just wondering, what do you think about—"</p><p>“If this is a conspiracy theory,” Kiyotaka interrupts, “Then I am going to say I have to disagree with whatever it is you think.”</p><p>Yasuhiro pauses, before grinning and patting his back. “Back to feeling like yourself, huh? Good. Thought bringing Owada-chi around might help.”</p><p>That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear, so the most he can manage in response is a startled, “Huh?”</p><p>“You’ve just been a little...” There’s a gesture that he makes with his free hand, as if that’s supposed to make elaborate what he means. In an odd sort of way, he supposes it does make sense to him, on some level. “You know? Less spirited. After you came back shopping with mom that one time the other week was when I started to notice.” Kiyotaka tries not to wince too much— was that true? He had not even really noticed himself, if he’s to be honest. That should probably be concerning. “Even Leon-chi noticed you weren’t completely like yourself. Figured you probably just needed to take a breather and recharge a bit, so we got ahold of Owada-chi. You look more like yourself, so I think it worked.”</p><p>“Oh. Uhm.” He’s not really sure what to say to that, except for the obvious. “Thank you...?”</p><p>That earns a grin from the other, the hand on his back tugs him into an awkward sort of half hug. Mainly awkward because Kiyotaka goes a little stiff, not quite sure how to reciprocate the gesture. “No problem! Besides, you were starting to freak me out a little with how you were acting, man.” There’s a brief pause. “But if you want to thank me, you could—”</p><p>“No.” He doesn’t need to hear the rest of it to know he should not let him finish the suggestion.</p><p>“Fine. You’re welcome, by the way.”</p><p>“I already said thank you!” He protests. “I am grateful, you know.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know.” And he leaves it at that.</p><p>Maybe Kiyotaka was a little too quick to thank him for his actions though— because the first thing out of Yasuhiro’s mouth when their mother gets home is, “Ma, wanna see Kiyo-chi’s boyfriend? I got pictures of them.”</p><p>He stammers incoherently and goes through about five different emotions before saying, “That’s— we aren’t...!” Not that Hiroko seems to care about that particular detail, demanding that he show her what he means. “Don’t show her that!”</p><p>“Aw, but you two look cute together.” He flashes his phone in his direction briefly to show him, before passing the phone off to his mother.</p><p>“Not helping.” A grumble, as he leans in to look. “When did you even get the chance to take that?” Not that he really needs an answer to that, because he can tell just by looking that neither of them had been paying attention to anything else. With Mondo’s head on his shoulder, leaning against him while he had been trying to attend to the stove— and though it really isn’t noticeable in the photo, he remembers leaning back into his hands. Honestly, all he’s missing is an apron, and he would really complete the domestic aesthetic of this photo.</p><p>“Oh— you look so happy, Kiyomaru! I would’ve liked to have seen it myself.” She sounds almost wistful, if it were not for the whine that accents her words. And also like he’s not usually happy? “Proud to see you do have friends to call on.”</p><p>It almost feels insulting, if it were not for the fact he knows she means well. And is probably teasing him, so he shouldn’t overthink it too much. “You’re overreacting just a bit, don’t you think?” It’s also vaguely embarrassing, since he doesn’t think it’s really something worth making a fuss about from either of them.</p><p>Simultaneously, Yasuhiro frowns. “Ma, I don’t think you’ve ever been this happy about me making friends.”</p><p>“That’s because the only time you lock yourself away is when you get a bad prediction. I don’t worry about you like that.”</p><p>Meanwhile, his father— whose presence he had been choosing to ignore, standing behind them the entire time— shares a look with him. Despite the fact that Kiyotaka is usually most effective at communicating vocally, he’s pretty sure he’s having a telepathic conversation with his father through looks alone. Not a negative response, maybe a little judgmental, but that’s it. Great.</p><p>Except, mind you, this is his father: and as he has previously established, his father is good at reading body language. Especially of his son, who he has watched for years now. So his father has already noticed what has gone unnoticed by the rest of them, and smirks at him. Finger taps at the phone screen, gaining Hiroko and Yasuhiro’s attention as he speaks. “You look pretty comfortable, but your ears are red, aren’t they? Any particular reason for that?”</p><p>Kiyotaka lets out a startled yelp in response to that, and his mother coos something about how adorable he is. Flustered and not able to dignify that with a response that isn’t further embarrassing himself, turns to head back to his room. “This is why I cannot bring my friends home.” He huffs.</p><p>“We love you too, Kiyomaru!” Hiroko calls after him, and he huffs again in response ( though he’d be lying if he did not smile a bit fondly at that ). The sound of footsteps following him and his name being called makes him stop and turn at the entrance to his room, waiting to see what Yasuhiro needs.</p><p>“...Hey, Kiyo-chi?” He frowns a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Watch out around doors, mkay? I-I’ve just got a feeling you should be careful, man!”</p><p>Again, like someone who has not learned your lesson quite yet, does not take it entirely seriously, but the panicked insistence makes it hard to put aside either. He opts to acknowledge it with a nod and leaves it at that.</p><p>When he goes to his bed to retire for the night, he notes that when he puts his nose to the sheets, he can pick up a lingering scent: cigarettes, hair gel, and cedar, an underlying heady smoked wood smell that balances it all out. If he’d had any lingering worries about Yasuhiro’s predictions, the comfort that the fragrance brings pushes it out of his mind for the time being. With a feeling of safety, he sinks into his sheets and drifts off into dreams of a warm summer breeze and a smile that rivals the sun.</p>
<hr/><p><em>Be careful around doors</em>.</p><p>That certainly might take for one of the more ominous predictions that he has heard Hagakure spout, if not a bit odd in the way he phrases it. As if he was not a cautious person without his warning. It also doesn’t entirely make sense to him either, because he thinks it is common sense to be careful about opening doors in any manner. So maybe that is why he forgets the warning after a few days have passed— there’s only a thirty percent chance that it would come true, anyways.</p><p>He has certainly forgotten about it when he hears the doorbell ring one afternoon— there’s something unusual about it, because usually the neighbors shout to get their attention, and he does not think they were expecting any deliveries today. He rationalizes it might be that Hagakure left his keys behind again; although Hiroko is also guilty of that much ( then again, it is probably better than them leaving the door unlocked ).</p><p>Whatever the case may be, he does not really think to check who might be on the other side of the door, instead preparing himself to lecture when he opens the door—</p><p>and gets a swift sword in his face. It is probably a good thing that he has always been reflexively quick and the person on the other end is not aiming to hurt off the bat, or else he would probably end up looking a lot like Kuzuryuu-kun. For her part, Pekoyama looks startled to see him ( and embarrassed, he thinks ), quick to sheathe her sword back in its holder. “My apologies...I was not expecting you to be the one to answer the door.” Which brings him to question who she did expect to answer the door and also how exactly she expected that to play out? He has more than a few concerns about the implications of that, but does not voice it.</p><p>And then the two of them just stare at each other for a few odd moments before he invites her inside.</p><p>If it is hard to not think about Toranosuke Ishimaru’s legacy when he looks at himself in the mirror or seeing his father, then watching Peko is like having his legacy shoved in his face. Forced to bear the consequences of their grandfather’s mistakes, Kiyotaka thinks her saving grace is not having to bear the burden of the same, only the traits.</p><p>( You think about the way Toranosuke spent the last moments of his life alone— lonely in death or lonely in life: which is worse, he wonders. They have been kind of lonely people too, in the way their own paths in life have taken shape. Perhaps it is their greatest accomplishment that they have managed to shake that off— like they have told him to <em>fuck off</em> by accomplishing something, perservering in order to overcome that loneliness, at least around their peers.</p><p>The world may not forgive and forget about what the Ishimaru family has done, but they are at least proving their grandfather wrong. He thinks that is the greatest victory they can achieve )</p><p>For people who have grown up on very different paths, they are strikingly alike, or so he has been told. A family resemblance, he supposes. He thinks it is hard to seriously tell when they have hardly ever known of each other, let alone known family.</p><p>That said, for all likeliness that they share, he is not a mind reader; but he can tell that by the way she watches him, something must be on her mind. He watches her put down her cup of tea, and decides to break the silence. “Is there something I can help you with? You know I am happy to assist you with whatever you might need, even if that is just someone to talk to.”</p><p>“That’s...one way of putting things, I suppose. Help.” A chuckle, a tinge of a smile— there is something bittersweet in it that he does not quite understand. The tragedy of living different lives is that he can only begin to try and understand: but making an effort ( to understand things ) has always been his greatest virtue. “I would like to request your assistance in something, yes. I think it would be of benefit for both of us. You see, yo...Fuyuhiko has been wishing that I use our break more like an actual break. We have made it a habit to spend the first half of our break with various classmates, but...I believe he would like me to express more of my own will. On my own.”</p><p>She takes a moment to pause, and looks a little like she’s floundering for what to say, so he fills the silence to give her a moment to figure out what she wants to say. “I see! To want to improve yourself— that is a very admirable goal! While I admit I do not know how exactly I can be of help, I will support you however I can.”</p><p>“I have expressed to you before that I think I— I have a desire to...understand better. Our family.” Like the way she handles a sword, even if her words are handled carefully, they are as swift and to the point as ever. Even the way Peko pauses seems cautious, a slight tilt to her head as her gaze shifts towards the doorway briefly, before returning to him. “But truthfully, I do not think I have not made a very good effort in doing so, because I am not sure where to start. My understanding is that you are going through a similar situation right now, so I do not want to intrude but...perhaps in the future, we can make more amends.”</p><p>“Oh!” And those words would be the final strike, if Kiyotaka were to continue with the sword analogy— one might think she might as well have struck him with a sword with how quickly tears spring to his eyes ( but no, that is just his natural reaction ). “W-Well, first I— I do not believe you have anything to be making amends for. After all, reconnecting is not a one sided effort...and, you are attempting to make an effort, which is the most important part, I believe! After all, you cannot expect change if you do not make an effort to start somewhere!” That might lean a little too heavily on his own personal views on the value of effort, so he tries to offer her some words that might be genuinely helpful. Or of comfort. Either would be good. “I admit, I do not know how to handle these sorts of matters too well either, but I have been told these things can take time, so please do not feel like you are personally at fault for this. When we are all ready to take that next step, it will happen.”</p><p>“She could start by staying for dinner?” Kiyotaka jumps and turns to frown at Yasuhiro, standing in the doorway, as unhelpful to contribute to the situation as ever.</p><p>“How long have you been standing there?” He asks, but that question gets ignored in favor of getting Peko to put away her sword and all three of them sit down.</p><p>( He gets the feeling he knows why she had showed up now— he really should sit down and make Yasuhiro put together some sort of plan for taking care of his debt issues. Maybe with her and Kuzuryuu there to hold him accountable to it )</p><p>“But you know— if you want an honest suggestion of where she can start, she could join us for your birthday.”</p><p>“Birthday?” She echoes, a twinge of her brow.</p><p>“You do celebrate birthdays, right Pekoyama-chi? And your own, for that matter?” He frowns at the other, ready to scold him for being rude.</p><p>“Ah, yes. Pardon. I was not aware his was coming up, is all.” That gets a small smile from her— okay, he rescinds his former comment about him being unhelpful. “Though I do admit that it has only been more recently that I have celebrated such for myself.”</p><p>“Why do neither of you have normal childhoods?” He complains, but continues before either of them can disagree with that sentiment. “Fucked up family, I know, I know.”</p><p>Kiyotaka shifts a little, uncomfortable. “You really are not letting go of that, are you?”</p><p>“Yeah? Owada-chi is scary. He might actually kill me if you don’t have a normal birthday.”</p><p>“Please don’t joke about that.” He grimaces at the implications of that.</p><p>Simultaneously, Pekoyama says, “I can help with that.” There’s a smug glimmer in her eyes that does not settle well with him at all. “If we kill you, we can sell—”</p><p>“No!” He interrupts sternly, and she stares for a moment before letting out a laugh; a soft sort of half bark that feels jarringly right to hear.</p><p>“I was joking.” She reassures him, a gentle pat to his head, and Hagakure joins in a moment later, to which Kiyotaka gets the distinct feeling his siblings are babying him.</p><p>It is not an entirely awful feeling, he supposes, however unfamiliar of a sensation it may be.</p><p>“Right, then. Let’s do this!” Hiro says, while he and Peko just stare at him in response.</p><p>“Do what?” Kiyotaka says after a moment, feeling like he has managed to miss something.</p><p>What he means by <em>this</em>, as it turns out, is preparing dinner for their parents to come home to. It is a messy effort between the three of them: you know that saying about too many cooks in the kitchen? It definitely applies here...but the end result doesn’t turn out too bad, at least.</p><p>( He knows family is an odd thing for both of them. He watches the hesitant smile that spreads across Peko's face as she listens to Hiroko and Yasuhiro argue over something trivial, and his father’s awkward attempts at making small talk with a child he has never really known. There is something about having so many different parts of his family here together that feels right— and you hope you are not alone in that feeling )</p><p>Before she leaves, Peko mentions to him that she had meant to ask him if he would help in her training by sparring with her every once in a while. To which he agrees and promises to brush up on his kendo so he might actually stand a chance against her.</p><p>She laughs, hand gently ruffling the top of his head. “Don’t work yourself too hard for my sake.”</p>
<hr/><p>One might believe that his view on the frivolity of birthdays was something along the lines of being due to it taking away from time Kiyotaka could spend studying, or other more productive matters. Which, okay, it is not entirely false, especially when he is seventeen and no longer a child that really needs to celebrate something that just feels like a number and not much else. But it would not be truthful if he were to act like that was the whole of it.</p><p>It is not a subject that he expects to be brought up at the dinner table one evening, however, when Yasuhiro says. “Hey, is it true that you’ve never celebrated your birthday before?”</p><p>It is said so suddenly that he almost chokes on his food, with Hiroko patting his back a few times to make sure he isn’t choking, sighing at her son. “What have I said about your timing on things?” Although he can tell by her tone that she is interested in this topic too, which might be the only reason she doesn’t lecture him further than that.</p><p>After a long sip of water, he clears his throat and frowns. “Where did you even hear such a thing?”</p><p>“Was it not true? ‘Cause Kiyo-chi, you tell Owada-chi everything—” A pause, quickly amends his statement. “...Almost everything. I figured that he would’ve been right on this one.” He is not sure if he likes anything that he thinks the other means to imply.</p><p>He opens his mouth to correct this fact, but his mother speaks up before he can really try and defend himself. “Please tell me that my son has celebrated his birthday properly before.”</p><p>His father looks uncomfortable with how the subject has shifted to him and mentally tries to communicate an apology for it. “No, we did; I have the pictures to prove it. He was too young to really remember. I stopped because he’d tell me I should work instead—”</p><p>“It is not an occasion important enough to miss work for!” Kiyotaka interrupts briefly.</p><p>“—and there you have it. It’s hard to say no when he insists that’s all he wants for his birthday. If it were anyone else, you’d think he hates me.” Takaaki finishes with a grumble.</p><p>“You aren’t allowed to say no this year, then!” Yasuhiro points at him, and he almost scoffs in response ( but that feels a bit like something Togami might do, so he refrains ). “Owada-chi’s already upset that you insist that he doesn’t visit for your birthday, so you’re stuck with us at least!”</p><p>“Only because there is no point in him doing so when we will be back at school hardly days later, so waiting until then hardly makes any difference!” And in his defense, he’s pretty sure his logic is fairly solid: he would rather him spend his time with his gang since he cannot do so once classes are back in session, and his birthday is one of their last few days of break. Though the fact that he is aware of this tells him that maybe Kiyotaka has upset Mondo by refusing him this. Or he’s settled for using Yasuhiro to act out his wishes instead.</p><p>( The third option here is that his sibling might be expressing some kind of concern of his own, but that thought doesn’t ever really cross his mind, or at least not in that moment )</p><p>“Wait.” Hiroko interrupts, and he can see the wheels turning in both of his parent’s minds. “By Owada— you don’t happen to mean <strong>that</strong> Owada, right? The gang leader guy? Kiyomaru, you should have mentioned—”</p><p>( No, this reaction is precisely why he did not mention this fact; although technically speaking, he does speak of Mondo, just— )</p><p>“No, Kiyo-chi does, just not by name. That’s his kyodai.” Yasuhiro sounds a little amused, so he is glad someone’s getting some entertainment out of his suffering tonight.</p><p>That said, it’s still a matter he would like to clarify himself: or at least, more so to his father. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to withhold this information on purpose.” Well, mostly not on purpose, at least. “I just do not...know how to bring it up. I’m not— I suppose I am not really used to having friends. It’s not that I’m not proud of Owada-kun or any of the rest of my peers. It is just sometimes easier to think of them as just that. When I talk about him as my kyodai, it feels...in my mind, I feel like I am separating him from associating him as a classmate. It is just easier that way.”</p><p>“Okay, this got way too serious.” Yasuhiro mutters after a long minute of silence and watches both parents give him a look.</p><p>“What he means,” Hiroko speaks, managing to handle this the most gracefully out of the four of them. “Is that none of us are upset. I thought it was weird that you never liked to talk about your friends, but as long as you’re happy, we’re happy. Right?” He’s pretty sure that’s supposed to be a thinly veiled threat to his father, not that he thinks such is necessary.</p><p>And then she catches his eye and winks at him and realizes <em>oh god she figured it out</em>. So that’s two-thirds of this household that’s aware of that ( Yasuhiro has dropped enough hints that apparently even he has picked up on his feelings, which really makes him question who <strong>isn’t </strong> aware at this point ). He should probably have that conversation with his father at some point, or he can wait until he inevitably <em>never</em> acts on his feelings and handle everything at once. Knowing his luck, it will probably end up being the latter, in a case of rare procrastination on his part.</p><p>The topic is dropped and doesn’t get mentioned in any further detail, presumably forgotten about, so Kiyotaka presumes that he should not expect anything too special to be done for his birthday— nothing at all seems unlikely, if his mother has any say in it, so he has braced himself for that much. Except Yasuhiro does not seem to forget about it.</p><p>It’s an odd feeling, really. Birthdays have never been something he placed an emphasis on— not entirely due to the fact it would take away from his studies, nor entirely because he thinks that he has outgrown such a thing. A waste of time, perhaps, because he thinks people should be prioritizing other things that are not him ( like his parent’s work or Mondo’s gang, albeit for entirely different reasons ).</p><p>It’s not even that you hadn’t ever looked forward to it...rather, he did not really have a reason to look forward to it most years. Doesn’t want to get his hopes up about looking forward to it. And even when all of them make it a point that they are doing something for his birthday, he still does not want to get his hopes up.</p><p>( It may also be due to the fact birthdays feel double edged sword because he feels like it’s weird to want the attention for something he hasn’t put effort in— if it is a matter he has put some sort of effort to show for, he understands a reason to celebrate, to some degree. Birthday’s just celebrate one existing, and while he supposes that by some stretch that is a kind of show of effort, it still doesn’t feel like one that he has earned. And on the other hand, he wants the normalcy that is provided by celebrating such an event. So he can act like he understands why everyone else makes such a big deal over it by going through with it himself )</p><p>That said, everyone must be able to tell that he wants it to be a lowkey affair— equally likely, his father ends up implementing some limit, lest they try and go overboard. It’s nice, regardless of the reason, since he thinks it would be overwhelming to go from not celebrating at all to suddenly having something big. Maybe next year he’ll let them talk him into doing something bigger, but for now, he is perfectly content with just the concept of having people to celebrate with. It’ll be the first time his birthday holds some meaning with both family ( and friends, he supposes ), and he thinks that achievement alone is really what he’s celebrating.</p><p>Though, he does almost forget when the day arrives, having been keeping himself preoccupied by making sure all his things are organized, and has begun the process of packing up his belongings for their return to school. In part because he anticipates needing to remind Yasuhiro to pack, and then help him when he inevitably leaves the majority of it to be done the day before.</p><p>In respect to his worries about getting his hopes up: as it turns out, is not a necessary concern this year. By which <em>someone </em>has made sure that all of Class 78 has signed a card apparently, a rather hefty feeling envelope; to which Yasuhiro presents to him along with his gift during dinner. He has his suspicions as to who is responsible for this, but contends that it was probably a joint effort. There’s also the added touch of several personalized notes from his classmates, of varying lengths.</p><p>Contender for the one that invokes some kind of feeling from him, or at least is definitely the shortest, might be Togami’s: which reads that Syo is currently threatening him with scissors ( whether or not that has a thing to do with the note, he’s uncertain but concerned regardless ), and a 10,000 yen note is attached to that. That feels appropriately succinct from him. He is...going to have to talk with Syo when he gets back to campus, however, because they concern him sometimes. More than sometimes, if he’s to be honest.</p><p>Just slightly longer is Celes’ note, which mentions that she would treat him to a shogi match when they get back and to be prepared for it: to which he wonders if it really counts as a ‘treat’, but digresses since he will look forward to it nonetheless. Nicest note probably belongs to Ogami, on the principle that they aren’t particularly close— they are not on bad terms by any means, but he figures them to be closer to just classmates than close peers.</p><p>Also notable is that a select few ( Naegi, Asahina, Chihiro ) specifically mention that they will give him his present when they are back from break. He wishes that he would be able to inform them that he <em>really </em>does not need a thing from any of them, but it’s probably too late at this point. He’s also fairly certain that would not stop them. Instead, he makes a note to figure out what he wants to say to everyone as thanks for their well wishes.</p><p>His family also seems to coordinate their gifts even though, again, he would like to say that <em>he doesn’t need a single thing from them so please stop wasting money on him</em>. He does not do that though, since part of him knows that this is as much for them ( in that they all can celebrate for once, together ) as much as it is for him and cannot find it in him to possibly ruin that. Peko brings him a kendo sword— slightly used, apparently one of her old ones, but given how it barely counts for worn, he gets the feeling it’s just to get him to accept it easier. His parents gets him a new set of armor to go with that: which is nice, but now he has to figure out where he’s going put that amongst the things he’s packing to take with him. Yasuhiro has gotten him a techniques book. Okay, it’s not the only thing he gets, but the other book that he gives him feels more like a gag gift to be buried at the bottom of his suitcase.</p><p>Since neither himself or Peko have much of a sweet tooth, a much less sweet fruit tart is substituted for a cake. He has to convince Hiroko to not try and put eighteen candles on top and just one. If she shows restraint, he’s pretty sure it is because Yasuhiro and Takaaki also tell her that’s just a little ( a lot ) overboard.</p><p>“Make a wish, kiddo.” She tells him. It feels rather childish, but he does take a moment to humor her and think of something before closing his eyes and blowing out the candle.</p><p>( All you can wish for is for the next year to be as good to your family as this one was, if not better )</p>
<hr/><p>While he has enjoyed having spent time with his family over the break, he has admittedly missed being with his peers. His second family, in a sense; his second home away from home ( his first home away from home would be with— ). And also he has maybe started to get a little tired of being at home.</p><p>Regardless, it feels good to be back at school, even if most students are not back yet. Classes don’t start for another day, but he is already back, because Kiyotaka strives for nothing but being punctual at all times and it is always good to account for something going wrong. Because his mind overthinks a lot and always jumps to the worst case scenario. Yasuhiro argues that they don’t need to leave early because they don’t have classes the first day back to account for that exactly. His complaints fall on deaf ears, since their parents had already bought their tickets back in accordance with this.</p><p>“Maybe if you packed more efficiently, it would not be so much of an issue to have come back when we did!” He says, currently carrying one of his bags along with his own belongings, an exhaled huff.</p><p>“You never know when you might need this stuff though.” The clairvoyant shrugs, before holding his hand out. “’Kay, I can take it from here. You’re going straight to your room, right?”</p><p>“Of course! You should be doing the same.” He gets another shrug in response.</p><p>“I’m gonna duck my head into the dining hall first. I’ll catch you later.” As he ( nearly ) runs off, he cannot help but feel like something is off, even if he can’t quite place it. Thus, he tries not to let it bother him too much as he heads off to his own room. He needs to unpack and clean up his room, among other things.</p><p>By some chance of odd timing, he runs into one of his peers almost immediately. Upon seeing her, he is reminded of the fact that he needs to speak to Syo, but that’s not something he needs to immediately bother her with. As long as he remembers to bring it up later. “Good afternoon Fukawa-kun!” He greets brightly, receiving a half-grumble in response. Her eyes dart around for a moment, looking at him like she is expecting something— but if something’s bothering her, she does not say it and he does not push. Instead, he opts to inquire about her break ( some part of him had wondered if being mostly alone here was lonesome ) and makes small talk as they walk back to the dorms.</p><p>The first thing that he realizes, stepping back into his room, is that someone has been here recently. He can tell someone has been in his room because things have been slightly moved around from where he remembers them being: not in a way that indicates someone had been going through his things to try and find something, although he doesn’t think he would have much to hide. He had left his room pretty clean, anyhow. He is initially inclined to think it might be one of the staff ( Yukizome in particular ), given the particular lack in dust buildup, but concludes that’s probably not it when he sees the small pile that has accumulated on his desk. Which means he can guess who— after all, it’s pretty unlikely that Ouma or Mioda would have broken into his room, on account of the fact that he is pretty sure neither are currently on campus.</p><p>He takes a moment to inspect the stack, consisting of: one in-depth informative book on insects from Gokuhara, a box with no name or label full with a select assortment of tools for stress management and anxiety, a set of clothes from Chabashira, what probably is supposed to be an entirely well-meaning message but looks like a sigil that’s going to curse him for the next decade ( courtesy of Tanaka, obviously, although supposes Nevermind may have assisted in some manner ). Ah, and an envelope from Kuzuryuu that he decides to not open for now; on account that he’s certain he does not need to worry about looking at it immediately.</p><p>And a folded note set apart from the rest of these, which he picks up.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Meet us out in the garden by the reserve course once you see this. No need for anything special.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>please</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Kiyotaka has corrected enough of Mondo’s homework to recognize his handwriting by now, even without him signing his name— similarly, he can recognize the hastily scribbled <em>please </em>as belonging to Chihiro. Either they had great faith in presuming that he would notice this quickly, or the fact that he might not notice never occurs to them. He had better not keep them waiting and go see what they want, putting his suitcases to the side for now before leaving his room.</p><p>He probably should have steeled himself to expect something when he gets there, because Asahina nearly knocks him over with the force that she collides into him with, an excited squeal of, “Happy <em>happy </em>late birthday, Ishimaru!”</p><p>He blinks, because ah— yeah, he should have expected that just because he didn’t celebrate his birthday with his peers would not stop some of them from wanting to celebrate with him later. Even if that meant days afterwards. It is the thought that counts, you think, as a person of sentiment. He should probably say something to that, but the most he can voice is something that sounds like strangled embarrassment. Not quite discomfort, but it is, er...hard to name the emotion in his chest.</p><p>“Uh, Asahina—” He can hear Mondo start, but Kuwata is much quicker ( and more crass ) about getting the point across.</p><p>“Christ, Asahina, let the fucker breathe.” It does seem to occur to her then, that she might have hugged a little too tightly in her excitement— in all fairness, it is not like he’s made of glass, even if some of his peers might think otherwise. He is pretty sure Mondo handles him much more roughly on the regular.</p><p>Or maybe it was just that obvious that the prolonged contact was starting to make him a little uncomfortable. Not that he gets much of a breather, because he barely gets a moment to look around: he notes that besides having heard Kuwata, and having been greeted by Asahina; Ogami, Naegi and ( of course ) Yasuhiro are there, as well as Chihiro and Mondo ( given the note, they are presumably the chief organizers of this gathering ).</p><p>The moment she steps away, another takes her place; a pair of smaller hands grasp his in her own as Chihiro smiles up at him. “I hope you don’t mind that we wanted to do something for you, since you’re always doing stuff for us.”</p><p>That seems to strike some sort of chord in him, because without entirely meaning to you start crying— happy tears, mind you, despite Naegi’s panicked questioning of if they’ve upset him in doing all this. He’s not upset ( not like that, at least ), which Chihiro reassures him of, because Mondo’s too busy helping him calm down. Sakura hands a spare handkerchief for him to clean his face with, as he attempts to thank everyone in a mostly coherent manner.</p><p>The biker’s hand rests on his head, ruffling his hair gently. “Ya don’t gotta thank us, kyodai. This is for you.” Kiyotaka makes a face at that and frowns at him.</p><p>“It would be ungrateful of me to not express my gratitude, whatever the reasoning may be.” He says, peering up at him.</p><p>“Y-Yeah, well...!” Mondo pauses, averting his gaze, just a hint of color to his cheeks. There is a moment, where it looks like he has something else he wants to say, but in a magnificent move of showing his ability to be unable to read the mood ( or maybe read it a little too well ), Kuwata decides to speak up.</p><p>“Okay, can we please fucking eat before Mondo loses his shit and tries to—” Naegi elbows him before he can finish that statement ( for better or for worse, he is not sure, since he doesn’t have a clue as to what he was going to say ), and Mondo gives him a swift death stare that wisely makes him stay quiet.</p><p>It has already distracted him away from whatever might have been happening in the moment, a blank stare as he tilts his head. “Huh?”</p><p>Never one to let things stay quiet for too long, however, Asahina joins in this time. “Lunch time, lunch time!” She sings, grabbing ahold of his hand. “We stole the kitchen for a bit this morning to make stuff!”</p><p>( He cannot help but be a little concerned about who the <em>we </em>in this instance means, because from personal experience having Naegi in the kitchen can be a mixed bag and he once witnessed Chihiro accidentally set fire to a pot of soup. Thankfully, it appears that either neither of them were in the kitchen, or any incidents have been avoided— or he’s just not seeing the end results of any accidents )</p><p>After lunch, Kuwata and Asahina end up playing some kind of game that looks more like a mashup of several sports rather than any one particular game; with Ogami both playing referee for them, as well making sure they don’t mess up anything in the garden too badly. Which also makes him hope that there’s not any particular rule they might be breaking by being out here ( he does not think so, but...they are close to the reserve course ). Naegi was sitting with Yasuhiro, engaged in what looks like some kind of divination, but he cannot be too sure of what he is.</p><p>Nor can he get up to check. Chihiro had apparently woken up to travel in order to make it here early enough, and thus ended up taking a nap; using Kiyotaka’s legs as a pillow, and Yasuhiro had given up his coat for her to use as a blanket. He really didn’t mind, given that she hardly weighs that much— even if she did, he still would not have minded, since he feels a little at fault, in a sense, for being the reason she’s tired in the first place. The fact that this means that Mondo sits close to him, letting him lean onto him is just a nice bonus. He feels hyper aware of the hand at his waist, but tries to not focus on it too much.</p><p>( He is also pretty sure he sees Yasuhiro snap a picture this time, but lets it go, given that trying to do something about it right now would: one, make Mondo aware of this fact, and more importantly, wake up Chihiro from what he deems is a well-deserved nap )</p><p>“Hey. Uhm,” Mondo’s voice is very close to him, lips practically pressed to his ears, quiet enough to not wake up Chihiro; and he lifts his gaze just enough to look at him. His nervousness is practically palpable, the hand wrapped around his is notably sweaty. It’s what keeps him close, and he restrains the reflexive urge to move around much more than to twist and face towards him more. Again, he would like to not wake the programmer sleeping on his lap much, even if he thinks she should be resting inside— but she had fallen asleep before he could protest it.</p><p>“Yes?” He prompts when he doesn’t say anything, although he supposes he might be trying to not start yelling, given how nervous he seems. For what reason exactly, he cannot quite figure out.</p><p>“I’m glad yer happy today— ‘bout this.” Mondo clarifies before he can even voice his confusion, although he doesn’t entirely get why he seems so nervous about it.</p><p>“Of course I am! Why would I not be? My friends have gathered to celebrate something with me.” He has to refrain from enthusiastically shouting his response out of instinct, speaking closer to a very loud whisper. Did he think he’d be upset? That doesn’t quite make sense since Mondo of all people should know better. Perhaps he had been worried that something would go wrong? That would explain him seeming nervous, after all.</p><p>“I was— y’know, I was just thinking ‘bout the fact that this is where we first met. Ya never really seemed happy back then— I mean, obviously, I know y...I know that’s not true now.”</p><p>It’s hard to hide the wince when he is reminded of that incident, and equally hard to not yell in response, settling for a hissed, “I do not wish to be reminded of that. It was not my proudest moment.”</p><p>It had been by chance that his first meeting with the class delinquent had been him taking a nap in the garden and skipping out on his lessons, and had resulted in a rather unpleasant wakeup call as Kiyotaka had taken it upon himself to scold him. Though, as it had turned out, Mondo would have gotten a rude awakening regardless, because the sprinklers turn on in the middle of his lecture. Which had then resulted in the duo yelling at each other and Sakakura finding them wrestling in the mud. Far from the best first impression.</p><p>( He also distinctly remembers thinking, amid the horrifying realization that had definitely ruined his uniform, that the other didn’t look half bad, all muddy and with his hair down. And then had almost smacked himself in the face because <em>that is not something he should be thinking about someone who could kick his ass</em> )</p><p>However, the reminder seems to spark a train of thought in them simultaneously, exchanging a glance before looking at Chihiro, sound asleep, and sharing a nod of agreement. Kiyotaka goes to return Hagakure’s jacket to him without a word, and with the programmer being carried on Mondo’s back, they head back inside.</p><p>It is probably for the best, anyhow, because they don’t have to worry about waking her up now— inevitably, because they are loud people, he thinks one of them would have begun to start shouting. Also, on a hunch that the biker has something else to say related to why he was acting so nervously, it would probably be better if this conversation was not held in an area where everyone can overhear them.</p><p>In a moment of silent and mutual understanding, they bring Chihiro to his room ( where it is arguably cleaner ), before going next door to Mondo’s room to resume their conversation.</p><p>Or so he presumes, except Mondo starts pacing instead. It would be more amusing if his behavior wasn’t so worrying: Kiyotaka puts an immediate stop to that by putting himself in front of him as a blockade, hands reaching out to him— Mondo meets him halfway and grasps his hands in his and holds onto them like a lifeline. “Talk to me.” He says quietly, fingers rubbing small circles into the back of his hands in an attempt to be reassuring, leaning forward as he tries to get him to look at him.</p><p>“I don’t wanna ruin things for ya.” He mutters, and continues on before he can correct him on that. “Do I make you happy?”</p><p>He blinks and stares at him like he is asking about something that should be obvious. “Of course! We are very close friends, after all. I do not think that would be true if I was not happy being with you.” He speaks truthfully.</p><p>“Ah...” The other trails off, decidedly looking away from him. “How about as— what if I meant...I meant that as somethin’ other than friends?” He looks as though he is restraining himself from yelling. Or crying. Maybe both? It’s hard to tell when he won’t look at him.</p><p>Kiyotaka stares for a minute, or two as he processes that ( or rather, fails to process what has been said ), and he can feel Mondo fidgeting against him and he almost manages to pull his hands out of him by the time he does manage to respond. Actually, he doesn’t give him a vocal response, instead launching himself forward with perhaps too much enthusiasm, because he collides with him in an almost painful ( and awkward ) manner that Mondo only chuckles at when their lips meet.</p><p>“Shit.” Mondo mumbles against his lips a few minutes later. “I was gonna give you yer gift now, but we put ‘em in Chi’s room.</p><p>Perhaps it is just because he’s never really cared too much about those kinds of things, but Kiyotaka simply shrugs, hooking his fingers into the other’s pockets to hold him there. “That’s fine. I think this is a pretty nice gift in the meantime.” Mondo laughs at him a little, but does not protest in the slightest as he leans in to kiss him again. Yes, this was definitely a feeling of satisfaction in a way that no material gift could give him.</p><p>He’s happy to be back home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you made it this far, thank you for reading!! ♡♡♡</p><p>Not that I really need to explain this, but since I did the research for it, I’ll break down Hiroko’s nickname for Kiyotaka! Since Hiroko, like Hiro, typically uses a -chi diminutive for name, I figured she would probably use a nickname for her own kids, since she’s pretty laid back and also noted to be doting.<br/>It’s not entirely uncommon to make nicknames by mashing together characters from one’s first and last names. However, this is typically done by younger folk instead of older ones, so this is supposed to reference Hiroko’s laid-back and kind of childish / youthful nature. The actual meaning behind her nickname for him, however, depends on how you’d interpret it!</p><p>One way to take Kiyomaru ( 清丸 ) isn’t as a mashup of names, but rather 清まる ( the verbage to be purified / to be cleansed ). Since Taka’s name already invokes the meaning of something clean / pure, it’s moreso Hiroko doubling down on this fact. In the words of my reference point ( my very Japanese mother ), it would probably be a bit of an unconventional and odd choice, depending on the context, but it would work, especially if it’s a quirky sort of character that’s making the nickname.</p><p>Taking Kiyomaru as a mashup of first and last name, if you interpret with 丸, it can mean things like whole and complete ( or in the form Marui: peaceful or harmonious ), in which you could take her nickname for him to refer to him as completely pure, or pure harmony.</p><p>Maru ( 丸 ) is also used as a suffix like -kun or -dono, most commonly for ship names. However, it does include, and is not limited to: names of people (esp. infants); suffix for names of swords, armour, musical instruments, etc.; suffix for names of dogs, horses, etc. Additionally, 麻呂 ( maro ), from which the suffix of maru has roots in, is an affectionate suffix for names of young men or pets, in which is sometimes Maru is used for. TLDR; by calling him Kiyomaru, Hiroko’s just being affectionate.<br/>( Ironically, Maro also refers to (person having) thin or shaved eyebrows )</p></blockquote></div></div>
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